Love isn't blind, but it is bland: The Love is Blind wedding recap

This singular season of Love is Blind has felt longer than the entirety of 20 something seasons of Grey's Anatomy.

If you also made it through all 13 episodes, congrats, dear reader.

Let us cheers with our gold wine glasses and reminisce on what was and what could have been.

Breaking up is easy to do - Lauren and Dave's story

Sadly for Dave, he used his sister and friends as an absolute crutch to try to get Lauren to end things. Perhaps he didn't want the bad guy edit. Oops, too late. You just never know what that sneaky old production team has up their sleeves.

Production cannot be held responsible for a grown man needing his sister's permission to go on a show, promise to not get engaged on a show where the whole premise is to get married, get engaged to a wonderful woman anyway, find any excuse to dislike her, not defend her in the least, and then start the break up discussion in a bowling alley. Love isn't that blind, David.

I've heard through the grapevine that Dave thought Lauren would get the villain edit Trevor did for being in a relationship while on the show. As he has proven, however, Dave and his thoughts are his own worst enemy. Lauren's ex-hookup proved himself to be nothing more than a nuisance trying to ride on the coattails of the cast.

Not only did he edit a selfie to make it look like he was part of the Love is Blind cast, but he also lied to Dave and Lauren's mutual friends about his relationship with Lauren. For someone that "doesn't want to be involved in the drama," he sure put himself front and center.

I digress; this is not about Wannabe McFameson. Lauren and Dave's connection ended as fast as it began, and even a drunk Dave confessing he fumbled the ball was not enough to convince Lauren to entertain his childish antics any further. Bullet dodged.

The best part of their relationship was the friendship formed between Lauren and Molly. Molly was Dave's other connection, who he also claimed was his number 1. She read right through his cheesy lines and called him out for pushing Lauren away, immediately defending Lauren in a way Dave could NEV-ER. Love to see the ladies and gents supporting each other.

Monica and Joey

I would like to issue a second public apology to Monica's sister Nicoll, which I will elaborate on later in my reunion coverage. She read Joey for what he was, and what most of us fans never expected. Yes, friends, it seems our dear, deeply accented, forever hair-donating skater boy in a Dumber and Dumber tux is indeed an f-boy.

Monica and Joey seemed like a perfect match. From their goofy personalities to closeness with their families, and of course, that adorably awkward reveal. I had the highest of hopes for them. I raised an eyebrow when he long-boarded down the aisle at the wedding ceremony, but hey, Monica has a communal sock bin, so maybe she was into it.

The two never swapping I love you's was not the only downfall of the relationship. If the first time you say the words "I love you" is at the altar, you'd better be saying no.

Sara and Ben

Sara, Sara, Sara. This man told you who he was from day one. He never pretended to be anyone he isn't. From his lack of opinions on important social issues to strict faith, these two were doomed from the start. Was I the only one incredibly confused that they kept acting like they were going to choose each other forever in every scene regardless?

I've said it before, but Sara folded like a house of cards over her morals when Ben proposed. Some say it's because she thought he had potential to learn. I say Sara is a very smart woman and knew that man was not going to change his mind. Love isn't that blind. Certainly not in three weeks.

Regardless, those two dragged us kicking and screaming all the way to the altar for Sara to say no and practically laugh in Ben's face when he suggested continuing to date.

Sara, my dear, I think it's amazing that you are so passionate about life-changing issues. I would, however, appreciate you maybe finding a lower horse to ride in on. Folding at the proposal is one thing. We've all gone gaga for the wrong person. Laughing in this man's face and then continuing to date him after, not even sticking around the venue for a polite chit-chat? Ma'am, no.

Now, once again, Ben revealed himself to be very different off-camera (allegedly) than he was on. And that is certainly believable. Most adults with a pulse know who George Floyd is, and 150 percent of the residents of Minneapolis certainly have opinions on BLM. Not all of them feel comfortable sharing them publicly, so it seems he thought it was better to have no opinion on camera than to disagree with Sara.

Neither is in the right here, though. He should have at least made an effort to educate himself, knowing these things were deal breakers for his fiancee. And Sara, you should not have dragged us, the fans who have been with this show for five years and eight seasons, through all that. Forget Ben. This is about me. I would have rather seen a storyline from any one of the three other couples than bland-gate. Sorry girl. You knew he was not your man.

Also, what is with the production this season? Why was it necessary to air an entire sermon, hours of b-roll, and countless foot close-ups instead of, I don't know, literally any depth whatsoever? Shame on you for putting funds into that music budget that should have gone to following another couple. Or another week of rent in the apartments instead of six pod episodes.

Virginia and Devin

I've seen a lot of hate for Virginia, and I don't understand it. That woman was 100 shades of patient with Devin, constantly trying to cater to him. She kindly explained the need for a prenup, despite his ridiculous objection that it "sets people up for divorce". Marriage sets almost half the US population up for divorce, Devin. It's called planning.

I'm convinced the only ones who balk at the idea of prenups are the ones who have nothing to lose. Except maybe a few pairs of Dunks.

I do like Devin, though, so far. Despite his naivety and relying too heavily on the opinions of his family (what is with the men this season), he really does seem like a kind and patient person. He also mentors kids, which takes a very unique person. This isn't the Devin show, though; this is the wedding of Virginia and that guy who hid a $1,000 wedding gift from her.

It seems that Devin could not find a convenient time, despite living with Virginia and sleeping next to her, to bring up his mother's boss giving them a $1,000 check as a wedding gift. It must have just slipped his mind. Considering Virginia's friend took to Instagram to share that Virginia (allegedly) paid for all of their activities, I find it more than suspect that $1,000 conveniently slipped his mind.

I found it hard not to empathize with him until Virginia dropped that bomb. To me, he seemed truly broken up and shocked when Virginia turned him down. It makes more sense when you see bits and pieces of their conversation about where they stand politically, but Devin didn't want to discuss that either, at least on camera. Virginia's endless patience still had boundaries, and choosing herself was the best thing she could have done. Devin, a word when you have a moment?

Taylor and Daniel

I could write an entire novel about their relationship, but a few paragraphs will have to do for now. If the Hastings are ever looking for a ghost writer, though, call me. Love is Blind was built for these two, and they certainly carried the season. The fan base thanks you both for your service.

From their shared values and excellent communication skills to their mutual love of Christmas and Taylor Swift, we have not seen another couple this meant to be since Lauren and Cameron. Sure, there have been amazing couples along the way who I absolutely adore, but Taylor said it best in her vows: "We may have just met, but our souls have known each other for a lifetime." I'm not a romantic girlie, but even I melted at that.

Their Christmas-themed engagement shoot in their reveal looks? Sheer perfection. Taylor invited her future mother-in-law to her dress fitting? Adorable. Daniel's sister playing piano and singing them both down the aisle? Please, someone, get me stock in Kleenex. I have never cried for two people I've never met until watching their wedding.

If you already miss seeing the couple on your screen, check out the video above. The officiant from the Hastings' wedding has a whole series about what it was like behind the scenes on their wedding day.

Bonus couple: Meg and Mason

Was anyone else shocked that Meg and Mason got together immediately after breaking up? I actually really like them as a couple. I thought they were more compatible than Madison and Mason all along. Doing their own reveal was also pretty adorable.