Vampires vs the Bronx: A campy kids movie with ’80s vibes

Vampires vs. The Bronx - Credit: Jon Pack / NBC Universal
Vampires vs. The Bronx - Credit: Jon Pack / NBC Universal /

Is Vampires vs the Bronx on Netflix worth streaming this weekend?

Vampires vs the Bronx follows Miguel Martinez (Jaden Michael), known as Lil Mayor, who is on a quest to save local businesses that adults have given up on in the Bronx. His group of youngster friends discovers a sinister plot involving vampires.

The vampires crawling around the Bronx are Buffy-style in appearance with sharp brow ridges and low-budget flight capabilities. The kids take on the evil “suckfaces” with broken mop handles and garlic Adobo seasoning taken from their kitchen.

Miguel lives in a close-knit community where everyone knows everyone. But everyone is suffering from the rising rent costs. Several local businesses decide to leave the city when offered a massive buyout from a real estate corporation. At the same time, people are disappearing at an alarming rate. While Miguel is trying to raise money to save the beloved bodega, he uncovers bloodsucking killers staff the real estate company.

Vampires vs the Bronx feels like a combination of The Lost Boys and The Goonies. There is a sense of unity and community, but this film focuses more on theatrical exposition and less on character development. There’s limited development of boys’ tight-knit group and even less development for the women and girls. There’s a love story so brief that it may not even count as a love story.

The film’s vampires are more like the Dracula kind than the Twilight version, so the story doesn’t romanticize vampires even a tiny bit. But it’s a little comical how easy it is for the young boys to take the vampires down with household, handmade weapons.

Vampires vs. the Bronx brings an interesting aspect of how racism supports social and economic oppression. The vampires in the movie are incredibly white, and most of them have blonde hair. They are targeting neighborhoods with people of color because they think no one will care if they disappear. They are buddies with cops, so the alarming number of missing person fliers doesn’t seem to worry any police.

This film is mostly goofy and not as violent as you may think a vampire movie would be, but the underlying message is profound: eat the rich before they eat you.

If you’re trying to find a Halloween-style film to watch with your young teenagers, Vampires vs. the Bronx is a great option. But it’s not the perfect selection if you’re searching for a movie filled with gore that will have you on the edge of your seat the entire time. Vampires vs. the Bronx is mildly entertaining but not the scariest option this Halloween season.

Vampires vs. the Bronx is now streaming on Netflix.

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