Jarren Duran's brutal truth makes Netflix's Red Sox docuseries a must watch

We have all been there. There are times in one's life when things cannot possibly get worse, and we ask ourselves a terrible question. It is better if we don't, but it's natural. The answer we give ourselves affects not only our future but everyone we know.

In Netflix's new docuseries about the Boston Red Sox, The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox, star outfielder Jarren Duran asks himself the question implied above. He appears to have everything: Youth, athletic talent, and fans. But what might be great from an outside perspective is often not reality.

Duran joined Boston for a short time in 2021 and played in 58 games in 2022. Few players become immediately successful in professional sports, and Duran was struggling. He couldn't figure out how to be successful hitting the ball, and people on social media were giving him a difficult time.

Jarren Duran shows real bravery in Netflix's new Boston Red Sox docuseries

But nothing was worse than what Duran was telling himself. He was not worthy of playing baseball, and he wasn't deserving of trying to live his life. He grabbed his rifle, and he pulled the trigger. Had the suicide attempt worked, he would have affected the lives of everyone who loved him. But when one is depressed, a definite end to things often appears as a better outcome than trying to keep going.

Duran's story is ultimately a positive one; hopefully, he has gotten the help he needs and is in a better place. But he wasn't in earlier in his career. Few knew how closely he had come to no longer be living.

In "Still Alive," episode four of the Netflix series, Duran discusses his mental issues. When the series' director, Greg Whiteley, dives deeper, the brutal truth that Duran is discussing comes full circle.

"I was already hearing it from fans,” Duran said. “And what they said to me, [it was like], ‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror.’ That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore."

Whitely asks, "When you say 'here,' you mean 'here' with the Red Sox or 'here' on planet Earth?"

Duran answers, "Probably both. Yeah. Probably both. I got to a point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened. So, to this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason’, so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off."

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad and having dark thoughts. That is part of being a human being. Hopefully, though, Duran's story will help others who are struggling. When The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox drops on Tuesday on Netflix, watch the entire series, but watch episode four with others.

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