4. Jurassic Park
This was a toss-up between him playing Dr. Grant or Ian Malcolm, but I think he’s more of a Dr. Grant. He can be flirty but not at the same level Dr. Malcolm is at, so Alan Grant it is. Since he’s already very familiar with being around kids and getting them out of harm’s way, it makes even more sense. Dr. Grant has to get Tim and Lex to safety for most of the movie and Hopper is great at that.
And, although we don’t see it too often, Hopper is actually very smart and he could play easily be a paleontologist amazed at this new, scary discovery. This role would also give Hopper a chance to bring out all those flowery shirts we know are hiding in his closet from the 1970s. He also gets to wear a cool hat (His police hat doesn’t get enough use).
The best part of Hopper being in Jurassic Park would be his reactions to seeing and being attacked by the dinosaurs. So much swearing, so many wild facial expressions, and even as a paleontologist, he’d probably try to shoot one of them which wouldn’t help the situation whatsoever.
He might even try to beat up John Hammond for creating and bringing them to the island after all of it was said and done. Hopper’s anger isn’t always in check (i.e. the scene where he beat up the mayor). But despite all this, he would be amazed by the sight of these creatures he only ever imagined before. He would be wonderful in this movie.
3. Raiders of the Lost Ark
Hands down, Raiders of the Lost Ark was made for Jim Hopper to star in. He’s pretty much a version of Indian Jones in Stranger Things as it is. He gets to wear a cool hat, carry a gun, help people in distress, hopefully get the girl in the end, and go on a thrilling adventure. That pretty much sums up Hopper’s storyline so he’d be perfect for this role.
I can also see Hopper being so happy to fight Nazis. He’d be like “you mean I get to shoot Nazis and then take back a priceless artifact so it doesn’t go into the hands of Hitler? Um, yes, I would like to do that!” He already fought monsters; what’s a few more under his belt?
Although, his version of Indiana Jones might not have an aversion to snakes. After you’ve dealt with a Mind Flayer and a Demogorgon, snakes kind of don’t hold the same scary/creepy factor as they normally would.
Honestly, Hopper would look great in the Indiana Jones outfit, running through tunnels, swinging on ropes over big caverns, swearing because a huge rock was rolling behind him, and searching for artifacts while maybe meeting the love of his life along the way.
Hopper has dealt with deadly weapons before. He did try to stop the laser that was opening the way to the Upside Down (he’s alive, I tell you!!), so he’d have no problem going after and handling the Ark of the Covenant and making sure it was in safe hands.
Hopper is also naturally skeptical so he’d be perfect as an archaeologist separating real artifacts from the fakes and ensuring he gives his finds to the people who will treat them with the respect they deserve and not simply selling them to the highest bidder.