Queer Eye: Knocking down toxic masculinity one make better at a time

Queer Eye marks its season 4 debut this weekend, but along the way, we have already seen a show that tackles how to destroy a masculine ideal that harms.

“Toxic Masculinity”, it’s a phrase that we hear a lot these days in terms of media, people, or the news. For those of you who don’t know what the phrase means, it comes down to traditional male gender roles (mainly having to do with restricted emotions) and how it can negatively affect a person and those around them.

Men are expected to be dominant under this model and, as a result, can only really express anger (“boys will be boys”). It is believed to promote misogyny and homophobia along with violence to extreme levels.

Lately, however, there is a trend among media to try to take a knock at toxic masculinity. Characters such as Steven Universe, for example, openly cry and use empathy as a strength rather than a weakness. Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), in the Fantastic Beasts franchise, has a quiet and soft-spoken disposition, relating better to animals than people. While it is still prevalent in scripted media, it is a step in the right direction.

This brings us to the cast of Queer Eye, who has four out of the five presenting as cis-gender males (Jonathan Van Ness recently came out as non-binary with he/him or she/her pronouns), which also takes a knock at the sort of dominant, no-show emotions line of thinking with themselves and with their heroes.

Karamo Brown, Tan France, Bobby Berk, Antoni Porowski, and Van Ness are all comfortable in showing their emotions and encouraging others to connect with their own. They do it by sharing tidbits of their own lives (like Bobby talking about his adoption and being kicked out at 15), allowing themselves to confront an issue directly (the scene between Karamo Brown and Cory in season one on police and Black Lives Matter), or providing a safe space for their “hero” to feel their vulnerability and confront it head on.

Part of it comes from their own personalities on the show, the Fab Five make sure to be celebratory, empathetic, and kind to their “heroes”, their term for the subjects on the show. By showing it on the show, they are also reaching out to their audiences as well. Both the subject and the view benefit from seeing the transformative power of embracing emotions.

In an interview with GQ Australia, the cast made it clear that one of their goals is to combat toxic masculinity. While there has been some criticism for how they showcase it, most consider it to be a success.

Karamo, in the GQ interview, said,

"“I was fighting, day in and day out to have the men have these cathartic cries. And not in a sadistic way. I would get upset in an episode if one of our heroes did not have an opportunity to be vulnerable and to express emotion. In the second episode, someone from the team came in and was like, ‘Karamo, enough with the cries.’ I literally said to them, ‘If you don’t want me to do my job, then you should’ve hired another culture guy’.”"

Underneath the make-betters, they also show how simple it is to be open and kind to the world around them.

Tan gently points out how wives or girlfriends make an effort for their husbands and they should as well. Karamo breaks down the emotional hurdles into something more manageable, like building a wall that can be torn down. Bobby shares a difficult past and a dedicated work ethic (because dang Bobby you do so much so fast). Antoni shows the heroes how to make simple dishes but how to reframe going out to eat as well like with season 3’s Jody. Jonathan is a whirlwind of positivity and tells the heroes how to love the skin their in and take care of themselves along with others in their lives.

It’s all important in how Queer Eye chips at the wall of the stoic masculine image. Not only are they inspiring the change, but they find subjects who are willing to put in the effort to change. Sometimes it takes some prodding, but they all embrace the process. More importantly, they appear to thrive from it.

Toxic masculinity is something that we cannot cure overnight. It will take some serious societal change in order to do that. Part of it, as well, is providing examples of masculinity where it’s okay to cry and to show emotion. Queer Eye, among others, is a start that will hopefully continue into the future.

As the theme song says, “all things just keep getting better”.

Queer Eye season 4 is now on Netflix, as of July 19.